Hiya! Wade here…Wade Wilson? Merc with the Mouth?? DEADFREAKINGPOOL!! Seriously if you don’t know who I am, why are you even reading this?
My movie is in theaters (I’m sure you’ve seen it at least twice already) and tomorrow is Valentine’s Day so my friends at Studio@Gawker and I put together some super fun cards to help you get laid…err, I mean help you let someone know you care with these inappropriate Valentine’s Day cards….uhhhh, I mean romantic love notes. Yeah, that’s what I meant. If you can’t even pull that off then just find yourself on TubeV Sex for the day, probably less stress that way… And more pleasure.
Go to the Studio@Gawker website to share one (or more) of these with the person(s) you’d like to get closest with on February 14th. Or maybe just share all of them on your social media page – Who knows, maybe you’ll find someone as desperate as you, and the two of you can hook up!
So here they are, check me out….I mean check THEM out. I’m pretty hilarious….they, THEY are pretty hilarious.
Make him or her scream “OH GOD” with a simple question…will you?
Is there that special someone you’ve been stalking….wait, such a negative word….someone you’ve been watching from afar, hoping to gain their attention? Hey, you! Over here!
If you’re hoping to make a BIG first impression, maybe this one? (Not recommended if you actually don’t have the goods to back it up, because really, who wants that kind of surprise on Valentine’s Day?)
Is there someone you’ve been undressing with your eyes? Let them know with this touching note. Also I’d be totally fine if your eyes were down there.
Everyone has a dark side, bring it out with a loving card from Ryan Reynolds. That guy is TOTALLY awesome by the way. Love him.
Hoping to get a little action with the person you’d most like to get naked with? This is the one for you. Boom here’s my card, now take off your clothes.
Is there someone you’d like to get REALLY close to on Valentines Day? You’re welcome. I’ll let myself out.
Show off your muscle with this card (I just hope that car didn’t belong to her dad). Awkward.
And last but not least, nothing says “I love you” more than genital herpes. Give them the gift that will last a lifetime!
Oh and once you’ve done the deed and you both get your clothes back on…go see the Deadpool movie. It’s in theaters – NOW!!
Seriously, if you haven’t seen my movie, why are you sitting here on your stupid computer?