The Marvel Menu for the Merc with a Mouth.

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Ready for tonight true believers? Got your tickets in your hands and looking for that perfect meal to prepare before the pure awesome about to be served to you by Hollywood?  The Marvel Report’s here with some fancy (and not so fancy) Deadpool menu items to wet your whistle.  Devour them before or after witnessing the Merc with a mouth, or just when you’re feeling like causing a ruckus – either way we’re proud to present our selections. Today we’re – Mercs with Menus.

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On that note, as Mercs with menus, we offer no mercy in terms of deliciousness, or language. Reader Descretion is advised. (that’s a fancy way to say that things might get a little violent and messy kids.)

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While deadpool seems to be the gas-station food sort of diner, we’ve done our best to prepare a short little menu for you to munch on while you wait in line for the film, afterwards, or in between reading your comic books.  Heat up your butane torch, put down your keys and head to the kitchen for these mouthwatering treats straight to you from the Marvel Menu and guest Chef Emily. Nom Nom True Beavers (or is that Believers?)

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Deadpool has a few staple foods, from Chimichangas to Tacos to Ring Pops.  Foods that are unique and unusual.  For this we decided to explore the Chimichanga.  Popular in Southwestern United States Cuisine, the Chimichanga is best served with rice and bean, but you can wrap it up in some wax paper to take it with you on the go.  This recipe comes straight from the Food Network.  Looks good right?

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Right! You will need the following ingredients:

  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 4 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 white onion, chopped
  • 3 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 1 jalapeno pepper, diced (remove seeds for less heat)
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • kosher salt
  • 1 small tomato chopped, plus more for topping
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
  • 2 1/2 cups shredded rotisserie chicken
  • 1/4 cup sour cream
  • 1.15 ounce can refried beans
  • 4 10 inch flour tortillas
  • 1 cup shredded monterey jack cheese
  • Mexi-sauce for topping
  • Shredded lettuce for Topping
  • Mexican Rice for Serving.

Looks good right? Slap it all together thusly by following these directions Mercs!:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Melt the butter with 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in a skillet; transfer to a bowl. Heat the remaining 2 tablespoons oil in the skillet. Add the onion, garlic and jalapeno and cook until soft, about 3 minutes. Add the chili powder, cumin, cinnamon and 1 teaspoon salt; toast 30 seconds. Add the tomato and cilantro and cook until slightly dry, about 2 minutes. Stir in the chicken and sour cream and warm through. Remove from the heat.

Brush a rimmed baking sheet with some of the butter-oil mixture. Spread 2 tablespoons refried beans down the center of each tortilla, leaving a 2-inch border on both ends. Top with 1 cup chicken mixture and 1/4 cup cheese. Fold in the ends and roll up.

Put the chimichangas seam-side down on the baking sheet; brush with the butter-oil mixture. Bake 8 to 10 minutes per side, brushing again after you flip. Top with the sauce, more cheese, lettuce and tomato. Serve with rice and the remaining beans.

Want to make your own delicious sauce? Follow this recipe here!

Saute 1/2 cup chopped onion and 2 chopped garlic cloves in a skillet with vegetable oil. Add a pinch each of chili powder, cumin, sugar and salt; cook 30 seconds. Stir in two 4-ounce cans chopped green chiles (drained and rinsed); cook 2 minutes. Add 1 cup chicken broth and simmer until thickened, then puree. Stir in 1/4 cup chopped cilantro.

Straight from the Magazine’s mouth to your mouth true believers.  However since it’s so close to valentine’s day we wouldn’t feel right without including something INCREDIBLY delicious from guest chef Emily – her famous “Dead” velvet cupcakes!

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Red Velvet Cupcakes

2.5 c cake flour

2 tbsp unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder

1 tsp salt

1.5 c sugar

1.5 c vegetable oil

2 large eggs, room temperature

0.5 tsp red gel-paste food color

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1.5 tsp baking soda

2 tsp distilled white vinegar

Preheat oven to 350° F. Line a cupcake pan with paper liners (preferably fun colorful ones). Whisk together cake flour, cocoa, and salt until combined.

With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, mix the sugar and oil with a whisk attachment. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating until each is fully incorporated into the mixture, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Mix in blood – in absence of blood use food coloring and vanilla.

Now let’s bring that speed down to sexy low. Add flour mixture in thirds, alternating with two additions of buttermilk, and whisking well after each. Stir together the baking soda and vinegar in a small bowl   (watch out! It’s gonna foam like your crappy volcano project from seventh grade); add mixture to the batter, and mix on medium speed for…I dunno, 10 seconds or something.

Divide the batter evenly among the lined cups, filling each three-quarters full. Bake, rotating the cupcake pan halfway through, for about 20 minutes or until if you stab it with one of your katanas the blade will come out clean. (EDITOR’S NOTE: Don’t use katanas for baking purposes). Transfer the cupcakes to a wire rack to cool for while. Go watch an episode of the Golden Girls while you wait.

Chocolate Filling

1 lb semi-sweet chocolate chips

0.5 lb heavy cream

1 tbsp butter

Preparation!!

In a small pot, bring heavy cream to a simmer over medium heat (do NOT boil!) Once steam begins to rise, pour slowly into the chocolate chips in a heatproof bowl. Add butter and stir slowly until smooth and shiny. Set aside to cool.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1.5 c (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature

6 oz cream cheese, at room temperature

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 c powdered sugar

Preparation!!

Beat the everloving shit out that butter in an electric mixer on low speed until soft and creamy. Add the cream cheese and mix for about 30 seconds. Add the vanilla and mix for another 30 seconds. Add the powdered sugar and mix for about one minute.  Turn the speed up to medium and mix for another minute. NOW YOU’RE DONE! Good for you pal!

GET YOUR CUPCAKE SHIT TOGETHER BRO!

(as only deadpool could request.)

Take a cupcake. Take a knife. Stab your poor unsuspecting cupcake right in the middle, right where its sweet, trusting, little cupcake heart would be. Carve out a portion of it so there’s a shallow little hole in the middle. Do this to all of them. Spare no one.

Take a ziplock bag (or a piping bag if you’re fancy) and fill it with the chocolate filling. Squirt a little bit of the filling into each cupcake, just enough that it fills the hole.

Spread the cream cheese frosting all over the top of the cupcake (aww yeeeaah). And then eat it because you deserve it, badass that you are.

 

 

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