Guardians of the Galaxy 1.12 Review: Crystal Blue Persuasion

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Original Air Date: February 28 2016

Review:

Batter Up!

This episode starts with Star-Lord and Drax playing Baseball in the Milano. Um ok that’s a bit dangerous. Especially after Drax breaks the bat. Star-Lord teaches the team about baseball. Or attempts to. Sorry Quill…

Ball is life!

Right before he gives a story about how baseball saved his life it turns out their next target is flying straight for them. And right as he starts his story LockJaw appears, as in teleports in.

Not cool Rocket, Lockjaw is self conscious.

So I guess the Inhumans are here. The Guardians try to catch him as he smells the Cosmic Boom Box. But Star-Lord throws the baseball and distracts him. But then Gamora Star-Lord and Lockjaw are teleported away.

Really? It looked like you guys were having fun!

Now that they are separated Star-Lord throws a bit of a fit about how no one listens to him when Gamora mentions how he wasn’t paying attention. And now in the cryo chamber looks like I was right and the Inhumans are actually here!

No, that’s just creepy.

The rest of the Guardians show up to Attilan and now begin their search while Star-Lord is dealing with Medusa (voiced by Catherine Taber). Rocket sees some crystal statues and thinks he’s scored big until they come to life. Medusa then figures out why they are there and let’s Gamora and Star-Lord down. Well more like dropped Star-Lord. The others meet Maximus, The Magnificent (voiced by Diedrich Bader).

Rude! Although I’m not sure you know what that means…

And now we get an Inhuman history lesson, well before Star-Lord interrupts about baseball. Knock it off dude! As it turns out there’s a plague going around that slowly turns the Inhumans into Terrigen Crystal. And in the meantime Drax, Groot, and Rocket get a tour of the city to then meet Black Bolt (voiced by well no one really, except the two times he whispered)! Maximus supposedly has a cure. But I guess he kidnapped Black Bolt because Medusa had Lockjaw teleport them to his lab.

Not his fault his kind needed help!

Now that the Guardians are back together, we find out that Maximus isn’t all that Magnificent but more so Mad. Medusa and Maximus argue before he reveals he has mind control. And is using it on Black Bolt… This can’t be good.

This won’t go over well.

Black Bolt easily defeats the Guardians after they ignore Star-Lord once more. So he teleports behind Maximus and threatens to open the Cryptocube. But that’s exactly what Maximus wants. The box opens and blinds Maximus but causes Groot and the Terrigen plague to grow so that sort of backfired. But everyone is ok as Maximus sneaks out.

Not the reaction I was expecting, then again Maximus is crazy…

Finally we get a display of Black Bolt’s power as he obliterates a nearby asteroid. Neat! And we learn that the crystals are affected by the seed energy, except I just mentioned that but it helps Star-Lord theorize that the Cosmic Seed may actually be nearby. But the Guardians don’t listen so he just leaves on his own. And then Ronan of all people shows up.

Not you again!!!

As it turns out Ronan was the one expected by Maximus to be absorbed by the Kree Empire making Maximus the leader. How about no. Except that Ronan isn’t part of the Kree Empire. Not anymore at least. Fight breaks out leaving the Guardians and the Inhumans defeated. And then Ronan turns on Maximus. Saw that coming, this is Ronan the Accuser after all. And after all this Ronan challenges Star-Lord to a Dance-Off! Not a real one sadly.

Ronan still doesn’t know the definition does he?

Ronan flees to then have Black Bolt blow up the city. Only chance would to give him the cure, but Maximus destroys it in a toddler like temper tantrum while Black Bolt attacks Star-Lord to make him “dance.” No escaping this with Lockjaw either.

Bad idea. Doesn’t help with crystal growths.

Everyone else heads to the Terrigen cavern to once again run into Maximus and his Alpha Primitives. He’s seriously lost his mind. Ronan decides to make Black Bolt scream but instead he commands Lockjaw to fetch the Cryptocube.

Black Bolt is confused and unamused. Maybe he’d make a great Umpire?

Lockjaw comes back and Black Bolt suggests, in the only way he can, to use it to absorb the energy from the crystals. For someone who doesn’t talk he sure knows how to communicate. And Star-Lord does just that. As the energy is absorbed the plague is removed from everyone leaving Drax able to scare the Alpha Primitives away.  Awesome!!!

Someone had to.

The day is saved Quill takes the credit and Black Bolt flies off to wreck Ronan’s day. Back on Attilan Maximus is jailed and has his own mind control device placed on him after spewing nonsense out. And the Guardians get a thanks and a full stay at the Royal Palace. Downside, the map didn’t update. But Star-Lord has a new fetch buddy.

Cosmo is jealous at this. Quill you better not replace Cosmo.

Final Thoughts:
This episode was a lot of fun, and we even got the Inhumans so that was awesome! I found myself laughing so much and I’m quite happy about that. No idea what this means for the Cosmic Seed story but this will lead to something I mentioned earlier.

And just for fun I’ll be including all of the Black Bolt joke screencaps here:

Or maybe just one.
You’re his brother, you should know why by now.
No, but he might be your favorite speaker Rocket.

Anyways hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did!

Guardians of the Galaxy airs Sundays only on Disney XD

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